...with the twitch of an eye...

I'm lost in the real world.

I'm somewhere between awake and asleep, and its all because of the meds I'm on.
I hate the feeling of not being in control of me, and since I've been sick, that's all I've felt.

So, I got punched in the stomach yesterday, well not literally but the news I got felt like it. it seems since my health condition is a worry, they've found an understudy for me. Thats like finding a replacement girlfriend incase the one you have doesn't work out. I know that it's not because I'm not good enough, It's because my health is important. So, what best for the show , is whats best for me. Even if I don't care for it.

One of my favorite songs ever. It's amazingly beautiful, and I can listen to it over and over again.


Fuel- Sunburn
The sky was dark this morning
Not a bird in the trees
And silence hung suspicious and anxious
Like a blanket covered scream
And you were gone
You were not there for me
And I cursed the sky and begged the sun to
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
All my friends are searching
Quiet, desperately
Look into their eyes you'll see the faithless crying
Save me, save me, save me
And what are they to feel
And who are they to be
And what am I to do with, do with me, but let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
Until my eyes cry out
'Til my head is free from doubt
'Til my lungs sigh right out
'Til I'm wiser

Smile. I need to see it.